Quiz: Find Your Artistic Hero

The world of art can be as overwhelming as keeping up with which emojis are cool and which are “cringey.” To help, I’ve come up with a scientific quiz to find out who your favorite artist may be. So scientific that Johnson & Johnson wanted the formula for their COVID vaccine, but I said, “No! This information is for Nice and Easel readers only!”

This is very handy when you’re at a stuffy wine and cheese party and need a talking point, or on a hot date at The Met. “I prefer Kelly Reemtsen’s narrative on female empowerment,” you can say with confidence. Better yet, do the quiz with your date! Quizzes are hot.

God speed!

1.     I have a tattoo of:

a.       A word. Even if it is in another language and I found out later it means “lettuce.”

b.       Somebody’s face. Maybe your son? Maybe Mikhail Gorbachev?

c.       A design. Something trippy, something plain, whatever!

d.       No tats on my untainted skin!

2.     My dream job is:

a.       To be a public speaker, I have a lot to say!

b.       Sales. “Enjoy your new chest freezer, Madame Penguin!”

c.       A cartoonist. Every since Jessica Rabbit stepped onto the scene, I’ve wanted to be a cartoonist.

d.       Prison guard. And not the corrupt kind like on “Orange is the New Black.”

3.     My favorite movie is:

a.       The King’s Speech. Bellatrix Lestrange really pulls off that queenly role!

b.       The Pursuit of Happyness. Will Smith getting’ jiggy with a true success story!

c.       The Matrix. Yes to multiple dimension, portals, slo-mo fight scenes!

d.       Old Yeller. Pass the tissues!

4.     My guilty pleasure is:

a.       Binge watching Netflix. The trashier, the better!

b.       Time on Zillow, Daniel Levy SNL skit-style.

c.       Online shopping. “Add to cart” are my three favorite words.

d.       Wine and chocolate. Even better if they’re both from a box.

5.     I sleep best in:

a.       Nothing but a sleep mask.

b.       Lingerie. Not the scratchy, lacy kind, but the good stuff.

c.       A weighted blanket, pillow flipped to the cool side.

d.       My ultra-worn flannel jammies!

6.     If my friend group had mock elections, I’d win:

a.       Miss Congeniality

b.       It’s a toss-up between Most Likely to be President or Most Likely to be kingpin of the prison yard.

c.       Most likely to live in a van and be a surf instructor

d.       Worst driver award. It’s okay. Someone has to win it.

7.     Would you rather… lick a toilet during halftime at a Cowboys game? Or suck down a fish smoothie?

a.       Both! Sounds yummy!

b.       I’d rather punch your face for asking this stupid question.

c.       Instead, how about I streak across the fifty-yard line waving a trout?

d.       I’ll take “lick the toilet for $400.”

8.     My favorite professional mascot is:

a.       Phillie Phanatic

b.       Mr. Redlegs

c.       Benny the Bull

d.       Youppi!

9.     My preferred mode of transportation is:

a.       The fanciest, most expensive SUV money can buy.

b.       Public transportation! The people watching is second to none.

c.       A scooter, skateboard, bike, my feet. A sailboat, if we’re crossing water.

d.       A car. Isn’t that everyone’s preferred mode? Dumb question.

10. Most the pictures on my phone are of:

a.       Me out clubbin’! Woot woot!

b.       My friends. My kids’ friends. Strangers whose clothes I like.

c.       Beautiful scenery! Clouds shaped like lobsters, full moons, etc.

d.       Screenshots of books to read, recipes to make, cute home décor I want.

 

If you mostly picked As: Much of Piet Mondrian’s work is open to interpretation and you love to have a piece of art to discuss with friends. Or strangers, for that matter! His use of bold, primary colors appeal to your vibrant personality. You probably appreciate the directness of his linework and the whimsy of his beautiful trees.

If you mostly picked Bs: You may be a fan of Jackson Pollack. His art is wild and fun, just like you! Pollack was a guy on the move. He loved to dance around his canvases, looking at things from every angle. You may have a knack for seeing things from multiple perspectives, and you definitely like to be on the go!

If you mostly picked Cs: Pablo Picasso might be your jam. You are artsy (and I’m not just saying that because you’re visiting an art blog) and think outside the box. Or the cube, in this case. Pablo Picasso was all about doing art in new, explorative ways. Your ultra-creative self really appreciates his unique contributions to the art world.

If you mostly picked Ds: It’s hard to beat good old Leonardo Da Vinci, in your opinion! You have great attention to detail and da Vinci’s art gives you details you can really sink your teeth into. His creativity appeals to your Renaissance side, his skill to your love of all things precise. Your style is timeless and who is more timeless than this Italian master?

Kelly Reemtsen: Michigan Native and Amazing Artist

I am a sucker for Michigan paraphernalia. In fact, just the other day I bought another Michigan shirt at Sam’s Club, of all places. Do all U.S. citizens love advertising their state as much as Michiganders? Is it because we’re shaped like a little mitten and scarf? Because we get ten cents for every returned can? Because we have more freshwater than we know what to do with? I don’t know, but from Copper Harbor to Paw Paw, Michiganders really love getting our state “out there.” Shirts are the least of it. Car stickers, pillows, hand towels… my kids have little chapstick holders covered with Michigans, for pity’s sake. We are all about this state of ours.

Just a couple Michigan-themed items we have around.

You can imagine my delight when I stumbled across Kelly Reemtsen. I fell for her artwork, like November leaves along Michigan’s Route 22. Her work is darling and powerful, fun and meaningful, lovely and important. It’s not easy to find all these adjectives all in one artist, but she nails it. And she’s from Michigan.

Reemtsen was born in Flint, and went to CMU (Fire up, Chips!). These days she lives in LA, raking in her millions (is that true? I hope so.) Her paintings are celebrated for their bright colors atop light backgrounds, the headless subjects, and of course, the feminine models with their axes, sledgehammers, or shovels. A stark contrast with the sparkling high heels and polka-dot dresses.

Here are some of her pieces. What do you think? Should she feature a model in a Michagangster shirt, yay or nay?

I vote Yay.

Romantic Weekend, Romanticism Art

L is for the Lower than low temperatures in the U.S. this Valentine’s Day!

O is for how Over we are trying to make out with masks on.

V is for Vast amount of candy we still have leftover from last Valentine’s day.

E is for an Everlasting love of art!

It seems fitting to feature some art from the late 18^th century romantic period as we move in Valentine’s Day weekend. I’ll keep it short, so you can still make your dinner reservation. First, let me give a quick rundown of what romanticism is (outside of flickering candles and Bad Company blaring in the bedroom). I think Urban Dictionary defines Romanticism best: “The name given to those schools of thought that value feeling and intuition over reason. Basically a bunch of hippies.” Here are a few examples of what the hippies of the late 18^th century were up to:

Don't miss the stallion peering through the curtains!

The Nightmare: Henry Fuseli painted this piece, which may surprise culture now. In 1781 it was downright shocking. In a good way, apparently. It received a ton of attention because people couldn’t look away. One article said it was looked upon with “horrified fascination.” You know- like how we watch the fantasy suite episode of The Bachelor. The ape is an Incubus, a demon who rapes sleeping women. And now I’m rethinking putting this painting in a romantic Valentine’s Day post and also reconsidering any fondness for the band.

Love this 'ship.

The Kiss by Francesco Hayez is much sweeter. I love the bright colors in this one, not to mention the detail. Look at the tiny wrinkles in her dress, the cracks in the wall, the worn floor… the shadow in the back?! Art historians agree the couple represents a new Italy, but the shadow depicts lurking danger. This is Hayez’s most famous work, but what an intriguing work it is! So sexy and dangerous!

I hope they remember their sunscreen!

Jacques-Louis David’s The Farewell: Okay, technically, you guys? This is Neoclassic. But it looks to me like it has a lot of Romantic qualities. It’s dreamy and bright and their headbands have a real “hippy” vibe, in my opinion, so we’re going with it. It tells a piece of Telemachus’ and Eucharis’ story. The heartbreaking part where they’re in love, but he has to leave to find his father. Eucharis is so sweet on his shoulder, but let’s not ignore his dog’s loving gaze. The painting just drips with devotion and adoration.

Happy Valentine’s Day, friends. I hope your day is full of steamy kisses, dreamy gazes, and sans nightmarish demons.

Fashion Is As Fashion Does

A sad but true fact of life: I want to be fancy and fashionable, but I'm not. Case in point. Last weekend I went to a birthday part for my friend Kate. Before I left the house, my nine-year-old asked what I was planning to wear. (The answer was, "Um, this?") She covered very politely by stammering, "Oh! Oh, good. I was hoping that's what you were wearing because you look great." Lies. 

Anyway, Kate arrived looking like a movie star (not because it was her birthday, but because she always looks like a movie star.) Meanwhile, I excused myself to go to the restroom, where I noticed my leggings were on backwards. Sigh. Wasn't it Albert Einstein who said, "The measure of intelligence is the ability to change clothes?" Oh well. Maybe fashion will make an appearance later in my life. Maybe it's still coming for me. When it does, I hope I exude this incredible vibe:

Portrait of Mnonja by Mikalene Thomas

It's so hard to take my eyes off the model that at first I didn't even notice the leopard/tiger/big cat under her feet roaring its approval. It's hard to see on a screen, but the medium here is mostly acrylic, with rhinestones! How glamorous is that? I'm certain Kate would approve. 

I saw a video blurb with the artist, Mikalene Thomas, who said she began buying rhinestones, glitter, felt, etc. from Michaels because it was so much cheaper than paint. The medium stuck, thank goodness, because who doesn't love sparkly art? Only monsters. You can see the video of Mikalene Thomas here: Portrait of Mnonja | Smithsonian American Art Museum (si.edu) 

Here is another piece of her work that I die over. 

Dim All the Lights

I could never pull off this look. This painting (again with acrylic and rhinestones) commemorates her late mother. If I'm so privileged to be commemorated someday, I hope I'm at least depicted with my pants on right.

One Ticket for the ColumBUS, Please!

I spent last weekend in Columbus, Ohio for a  hockey tournament. It was so fun! I have to tell you- Ohio is really winning me over. The last couple times I've been there I've been super pleasantly surprised. Fun fact about Columbus: it is the fourteenth largest city in the United States! I never would have guessed. They are big into food trucks, German stuff... and art!

Sadly, the art museums were not open when I was there. It was torture, because I was so looking forward to visiting them. Alas, we were there during a pandemic, over MLK day, and during a "protest" (note: there were crickets downtown. Not a protester to be seen.) We did get to visit German Village, where the architecture is beautifully preserved from the mid-1800s. Each home was a work of art in itself. (Did I spend all day yesterday looking for stain glass house numbers on Etsy? I did.) The Book Loft was the coolest bookstore I've ever been in, and The Red Stable was a little shop with art from local artists. So, it was a great visit, despite the fact I didn't make it into an actual museum.

Ohio is noteworthy for producing a bunch of presidents, but a quick Google search informed me of some great Ohioan artists too. One in particular caught my eye and I'll be darned if she wasn't from Columbus. Alice Schille was an Impressionist with a strong Mary Cassatt vibe. She often painted women and children, but did some landscapes too. Here are a few of her paintings that I really like.

Doesn't this look like a video? I can practically see the shadows moving.

I told you! Very Mary Cassatt feel, right?!

I wish my babies still fit on my lap!!

She's good, isn't she? It's no wonder her last name rhymes with "slay." I love discovering new artists. And new towns! Next time I vow not to visit on a holiday, but no promises about excluding hockey from my trip!

It's Going to be a Great Year! You Can Quote Me on That!

Happy New Year! I am so looking forward to an art-filled year! I'm so excited, I can only seem to type in exclamation points! 

Tis the season for lists. They are all the rage in January. We've got lists of resolutions (1. Take up underwater basket-weaving. 2. Eat more gelatin-based foods), to-do lists (exchange skinny jeans I was gifted for sweatpants), to-buy lists (when I buy all the things I didn't get for Christmas. i.e. basket-weaving supplies and Jello), and of course "Best Of" lists. 

As you've no doubt seen on Instagram, everyone is making a grid of their top nine moments of 2020. I'll get to that. Add it to my resolution list. There are the lists of celebrities we lost in 2020, best songs of the year, most anticipated books of the year... The lists go on and on. So, in the spirit of itemizing, I scoured the Internet for the Top Five Best Art Quotes by Famous Artists! Just for fun, I put the artists at the bottom of the post, so you can quiz yourself or a friend, if you like.

Let's count down!

Honorable Mention (and a gimme, if you're doing the quiz): "We don't make mistakes, just happy little accidents."

5. "Don't think about art, just get it done. Let everyone else decide if it's good or bad, whether they love it or hate it. While they are deciding, make even more art."

4. "As my artist's statement explains, my work is utterly incomprehensible and is therefore full of deep significance."

3. "Whether you succeed or not is irrelevant, there is no such thing. Making your unknown known is the important thing."

2. "The main thing is to be moved, to love, to hope, to tremble, to live."

1. "Creativity takes courage."

Let's have a creative, courageous year, friends! This storefront best displays my wish for you this year:

And remember! "Earth without 'art' is just 'eh'" (A quote off my 8 year-old cousin's t-shirt.)

________________________________________________________________________________

QUIZ ANSWERS: Honorable Mention: Bob Ross 5.) Andy Warhol 4.) Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes 3.) Georgia O'Keefe 2.) Auguste Rodin 1.) Henri Matisse

Birthday Month!

My birthday is at the very end of September. But September 1^st you better believe I’m shaking my children by the shoulders yelling in their face, “IT’S MY BIRTHDAY MONTH!!” Raise your hand if you can relate. I see you.

None of us are more deserving of a month-long celebration than Jesus Christ. So, today I bring you… Jesus paintings (please read dramatically with a theatrical sweeping arm motion as you bow and walk backwards. Thank you.)

First up is The Transfiguration by Raphael. It was the last piece of art he completed before his death, and in fact it was beside his bed when he died. (Talk about being married to your work!) Before I read up on this painting, I tried to guess who was who. I got Jesus correct (haha) and the disciples (left to right: James, Peter, John. John’s blonde curls are always a giveaway.) But I mixed the prophets up. I guessed Moses was on the left, but the internet says that’s Elijah. I can’t figure out why. The guy on the left looks more Moses-y to me, and nowhere can I find an explanation on why art historians are so certain Elijah is on the left. The bottom half is much busier. It features the possessed boy that Jesus will heal, the rest of the disciples, and some randos. Judas is lurking in the dark, as usual. Go figure. (Get it? No? Then let’s transition to our next piece…)

Next is Head of Christ by Rembrandt. Look, nobody really knows what Jesus looked like, but we can speculate. And we should assume he didn’t look like this. But I think we should throw Rembrandt a bone. In the olden days people were just painting based on what they saw when they were out and about at Starbucks or Costco. Rembrandt based this portrait off a Jewish model, so that’s something, right? And it’s a lovely painting. Not everyone could pull off brown on brown, with brown hair and brown eyes, but Rembrandt does. And I bet Jesus did too.

Finally, if we’re going to talk about Jesus at Christmas, we need a nativity. We need baby Jesus. How sweet and precious is this picture of Mary (practically a baby herself!) worshipping her newborn. Putting aside the fact that nobody told her how bad breastfeeding would hurt, and just praising her Savior. I love how Jesus’ pillow acts as a halo, and it might just be my imagination, but it looks like the cracks in the wall are making a halo around Mary. Great nativity creativity, Barrocci! The animals are looking on, Joseph is presumably confirming what the shepherds already know, and Jesus’ fat little baby cheeks are rosy and kissable. Could we ask for a dreamier representation of the first Christmas?